marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
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