i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize