My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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