you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
There r osticjed everywhere
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
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