I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize