i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The uberlube is also flammable
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize