we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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