Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize