I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
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Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize