You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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