Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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