just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
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Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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