Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
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I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
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i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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