Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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