I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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