how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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