idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize