So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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