I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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