Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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