i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize