dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He did a backflip because drugs
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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