I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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