i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
time to smoke my breakfast
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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