Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
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He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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