The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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