I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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