Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize