I must be too annoying 4 u.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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