We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize