I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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