When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
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Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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