I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize