season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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