her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
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It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
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Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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