The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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