I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize