I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
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I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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