why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize