Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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