my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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