It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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