the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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