you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize