I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize