we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
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your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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