were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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