Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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