There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
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I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
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i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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