My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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